Blog post

Yes, we NEED connection

April 16, 2019

I crave connection.  Genuine connection with humans (& animals)- not just surface level connection. 

Deep, honest, real, sometimes dark, soulful connection.  It’s probably why I enjoy a career in sales as much as I do.  Humans need connection with others, a sense of community, to truly thrive & the data shows it is a huge contributor to happiness.  This is likely why married people live longer than those who are single. 

My primary love languages are physical touch + words of affirmation, so I tend to think I might be even more affected by this whole CONNECTION thing than your average bear.  This is the first time in my life I can say I have amazing friendships with people I absolutely adore. 

When I look back on my friendships, I see that most of them were with people who had ulterior motives. I have left so many people behind on my life’s journey. Men who wanted to date me, whose friendships with me were short-lived. Girls who felt a bit jealous and didn’t let me in to their world. I cut ties with them & although I have thought about them over the years, for the most part I never looked back.

Connection is important to me, yes, but I also have the unique ability to detach swiftly from those not meant for me (usually). Although I yearn for connection, for me, being alone comes so easily.  Or…at least, it did. 😅

Big life transitions bring out things about yourself that you never fully grasped.  The more self aware I become, the more work I realize needs to be done.  It is in my reflections that I see my move as one of my most recent life transitions.  When you move far away from your previous home, you lose a great deal.  Human interaction and your community being the biggest- please don’t take this lightly. 

Perhaps this is why moving is so hard in the beginning for some.  Your in person support system has effectively vanished.  The guy who serves your coffee at your local coffee spot, gone.  The grocery store manager you always ask to order you random vegan items, not there.  Your neighbors and friendly faces- they have been replaced by phone calls or social media. Your friends and your brunch dates…only happen by way of a plane flight.

So really… it’s no surprise that I feel lonely.  It’s no surprise that I miss people.  It’s no surprise that I feel somewhat isolated in my new city, living my new life, experiencing new things. 

For a gypsy soul like me, it’s exhilarating MOST of the time.  I have never regretted a single move or change or NEW THING.  I thrive on change, in newness…I buzz around like a hummingbird from one thing to the next…usually with ease.  It might be because I’m a gemini…. I love mixing things up and going on the next adventure.

But this week, for some reason, I’ve been feeling lonely.  I am a human with complex emotions and allllll kinds of previous experiences- so having more than one feeling about my move is the very least I can allow myself to feel.  But realizing it yesterday hit me like a bag of bricks.  I almost didn’t want it to be true.  I didn’t want to feel the feelings that come along with loneliness.  The truth is, I am both happy and sad.  I am both excited for things I haven’t yet discovered and still yearning for what I had.  I feel the new and I feel the old.  So now, I’m trying to give myself the space to do so, and then figure out a plan to get some people back front and center in my life.  Human interaction is so important.  Being with people is so important. 

I can’t wait to see some of my loved ones this year, take some new adventures, travel, feel things, and experience things with others.  While I’m waiting for my next weekend getaway, I’ll be laying the groundwork for some solid friendships in my new home. 

Moves take work.  Life takes work.  Put in the work and feel the feelings. 

And if you’re not feeling too connected lately, my advice is get off of social media and go find some people in real life.  It might make all the difference.  Have you felt like this sometimes, too? 💙

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